FSP Retail Blog

And Finally...Dying for a good pizza

---

Ain’t No Soylent Green

---

With celebrities like Jamie Oliver helping to increase the popularity of home cooking, the supermarkets have become quite adept at providing a wide range of herbs and spices for the UKs budding chefs. There are some ingredients, however, that would prove difficult for even the revered Heston Blumenthal to come by…freshly ground black people, for example!

Penguin Group Australia have allegedly had to fork out £12,000 to fix a typo in cookbook The Pasta Bible due to a recipe for spelt tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto calling for ‘salt and freshly ground black people’!

The books are not being recalled, so expect to see a couple turning up on eBay any day now!

Fashion Police

---

Hugo Boss workers never fear, for Danny Glover has got your back.

The Lethal Weapon star has reportedly appealed to Hugo Boss AG to reverse its decision to shut down a suit plan in Ohio after taking a tour of the operation earlier that month. Glover also led a boycott of Hugo Boss formal wear at the Oscars this year, writing to every nominee asking them not to wear the label.

Unfortunately, though Glover’s attempts were no doubt appreciated, Hugo Boss has said the decision still stands. 

Oh dear.

Glover: You’re too old for this…*

 

*Alternative endings include ‘Chuck Norris would’ve done it better’

A Moment On The Lips, A Lifetime On The Hips

---

Feeling a bit peckish but don’t want to pile on the pounds? Fancy a bag of crisps but worried about the salt content? Never fear, Cranswick Food Company are here to help.

The Duchy Originals sausage producer has tried to patent a revolutionary new product that promises to provide everything the slimming carnivore could ask for – namely, meat crisps.

Said crisps promise to contain fewer calories, fat and salt than the traditional potato variety while having all the flavour of your favourite Sunday roast. These little gems are made by whizzing up some beef and turkey, mixing it with emulsifiers, heating gently then microwaving. Yum!

I don’t know about you, but I can hardly wait…

Family Values

---

Family Values

Traditionally, January is the busiest time of the year for divorce lawyers, and as the economic situation takes its toll, January 2010 us unlikely to be any different.

But never fear! If you’re currently thinking of filing or are in the midst of a tricky separation, don’t worry about trivialities such as who’s going to get custody of the toaster…for Debenhams have launched the perfect solution; the divorce gift list.

The idea, inspired by the increasing trend for people to celebrate rather than commiserate the end of a relationship, gives the newly single the opportunity to ask their friends and family to help out with household items their separation may have left them without!

Unsurprisingly, no trace of the aforementioned service can be found on the Debenhams website!

And Finally...Butt of a Joke

---

The North Face Apparel Corp has apparently filed a federal court lawsuit in St Louis against parody brand The South Butt.

The brand, started by a college student to help pay for his fees, sells t-shirts, fleece jackets and sweatshirts with the tagline “Never Stop Relaxing”.

The cease and desist request apparently stated that the companies’ logos are similar enough to cause “confusion”. Honestly now, when was the last time you confused your face with your butt…?

Other mildly amusing parodies discovered when researching this article include; DeadBull to RedBull; Naïve to Evian; and Nescrape to Nescafe.

Bringing Home The Bacon

---

Many retailers these days will be tired of paying the bills…sick of sticking stamps, dreading licking another envelope…

So to make things a little easier – more ‘tasty’ if you like - we introduce to you…Mmmvelopes.

Developed by [where else but] US-based company J&D’s, Mmmvelopes are traditional looking envelopes that offer a tasty twist; instead of tasting like, as they put it, ‘armpits’, the glue on their Mmmvelopes tastes like bacon.

Yes. Bacon.

So what are you waiting for? Its time to catch up on your paperwork…

Recession Breeds Opportunity

---

Looking for a little get away in the country? How about a nice weekend trip to a cosy…prisoner of war camp?

The owners of the former camp in Country Durham started work to turn the site into a national visitor centre and leisure attraction, comprising holiday huts, a theatre and a canteen, however the work, like many current development, remains unfinished.

But never fear! If you fancy a slice of this mighty tempting pie, why not make a bid for the development…on popular internet auction site eBay!

Or if prisoner of war camps aren’t your thing, you’ll be pleased to know you’re still in with a chance to win something slightly more cheery…

A civil servant has put his record-breaking collection of 7,500 McDonalds Happy Meal toys up for auction, also on eBay.
The enthusiast claims he began collecting the toys in the Eighties, but is now being forced by his long suffering wife to get rid of the haul, which is taking up too much room in the couples’s home.
What is it they say…each to their own?!

And Finally...Covering All Bases

---

There are things you expect to get in return for your Council Tax dollar; a regular bin collection, plenty of police on the streets and a fast, responsive fire service. It’s nice to know, however, that some councils like to go above and beyond the call of duty…

City authorities in Gelsenkirchen in Germany were left red faced after accidentally offering pornography alongside the more traditional services available for residents.

Apparently the error arose when the employee compiling the list thought that brothel owners might type the word ‘porn’ into the website search engine to find out about the city’s sex tax.

Unfortunately for expectant residents, the word has now been removed and the City has clarified the incident as “a mistake”.

…don’t they have Ann Summers in Germany?

Tough Old Bird

---

It was reported this month that fried chicken specialists KFC have had their feathers ruffled by a Chinese chip shop chain who they accuse of infringing their trademark.

The copy cat shop – called Sweaty Granny - has set up 15 restaurants using KFCs traditional red and white fascia colours…but replacing Colonel Sanders with the face of a smiling old lady!

Even more bizarre still, Chinese trade authorities have decided to take no action, stating "We don't think it's a rights infringement'.'

It appears grandma really does know best!

More Entries

Contact us on 01494 474740

or alternatively